The “Horribly Wrong” team has dealt with bad writing of all kinds — redundancies, misplaced modifiers, and of course, clichés. Today, we risk losing our press cards by revealing deep dark secrets of the news business.
Our July 16, 2023, segment talked about euphemisms: phrases meant to soften something really bad. You’d think reporters, who are in the business of plain speaking, would avoid them. But reporters are human. They don’t want to look stupid.
So here are some reporters’ code words — and what they really mean.
•”It’s not known how the…”
“I don’t know.”
•“It’s not clear/unclear how the….”
“I don’t know.”
•“That’s a good question.”
“I don’t know.”
•We’re digging deeper.’
A brutal cliché. Self-important, And ultimately worthless.
•“Right now, police are examining the scene, collecting evidence, and interviewing witnesses.”
“Yes, each of those things is a great big ‘duh,’ but the press conference hasn’t started yet and we need to fill.”
•“We’re going to break away from that news conference for now…”
“This is really boring.”
•XYZ news could not independently confirm the reporting by the Gazette.”
“We got scooped. Big time…”
•“According to published reports.”
“We got scooped by everyone.”
•“We now can update that there were two victims, not three.”
“We got it wrong the first time.”
•“Congressman, could I just circle back to that?”
“You weasel! Cut the gobbledygook and answer the question!”
•“The game was not over by press time.”
“We used to have late deadlines for our print edition, but people stopped advertising and subscribing. Please support your local newspaper. Before it’s gone.”
Watch this on video: https://youtu.be/SL6aoEx7q7o?si=Jc04afBtizunb6j0
Next time: DUM-dah-DUMM-DUMM.
Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com.
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