Father’s Day is next Sunday!
https://thegraphicsfairy.com/
Eliot’s two sons often have charged him with serial corniness. He pleads guilty as charged. But you can be corny — and do really bad puns — and still use good grammar. This fun gift from the boys comprised seven pencils, four of them containing errors: three comma splices and a failed capitalization. It’s seven sentences, for goodness sake. Where’s the editor?
Yet another infuriating comma splice! Beyoncé needs two more wins to make history. And she needs two more wins to check out the best outfits on the red carpet. And she needs two more wins to do even more. No. Changing a comma to a period, it’s so easy, and it makes sentences make sense, why don’t you try it.
Some people recognize comma splices are wrong, and some people use question marks properly, and some people don’t capitalize every word, what do they know.
One more time: Senators join. Donors are offering. But a group joins. A group is offering.
WATS (Wide area telephone system) still is around. A toll-free number (800, 888, etc.) to dial from anywhere. Sweet! At one time it was all the rage. It’s not used as much, now that long-distance charges don’t apply on most cellphones. But it’s still a staple for some businesses. Thing is, since the beginning, some people have wanted to spell it WATTS or watts. Some still do.
And we go to the video archives for Segment 45: Do you eat at the Jimmy Buffett? https://youtu.be/9TFzjLuTqHQ
From the mailbag: Longtime reader and occasional contributor Dr. Baruch Kahana saw our June 4 segment, “Are you Gruntled?” on words that are negatives of words we rarely or never use. He asked about feck (feckless) and ept (inept). “Feck” is a Scottish term for "majority" or "effect." “Ept” doesn’t exist. “Inept” is from the Latin for unsuitable, improper, impertinent; absurd, awkward, silly, tactless.
Readers: People have suggested at times that the “Horribly Wrong” team is just a bit too snarky, and a bit too nit-picky. In the interest of fair play, we invite you to submit examples of that from previous columns. Submit to eliot@eliotkleinberg.com!
Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we properly can credit you. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com
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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!