Look what’s under the tree! Gift-wrapped goofs!
Sometimes you read something and then stop and say, “That’s not right.” Are there two spouts on either side? No. Just one on each side. Again we remind you of the power of the comma: “…not one but two spouts, on either side...” Oh. Now it makes sense. But still awkward. Better: “…You may have noticed a spout on each side...” Tighter as well. (Note: You don’t need the “why” after “reason.” And skip the gratuitous capitalizations, please.)
This jumped off the page at us. Apparently not so for the ad designer. Here. We fixed it. No charge. Making the world a more literate place is our reward.
We’ve dealt before with this violation of the space-time continuum. Griner was not freed after the exchange. She was freed in the exchange, or during the exchange.
We’re thinking house aides. House AIDS would be something really, really bad.
The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year for scammers. They’re counting on you being too busy to look closely. Because then you’d realize real companies don’t butcher grammar this clumsily. You’d think the crooks would have someone editing their fake email who speaks English as a first language. Remember: If it’s too good to be true, it probably is. And that’s a cliché !
theastrolab.com
And then we saw this. There’s every indication this is a legitimate email from a major online seller. But it used “lookout” instead of “look out.” Thanks, guys, for making things harder for the “Horribly Wrong” team!
Jan Norris
It’s been a while since the “Horribly Wrong” team was in grade school. But “Thursday-Saturday” still adds up to three days.
And we go to the video archives for Segment 33: Elements of Style. https://youtu.be/ZnK3wcm9mmw
From the mailbag: A reader identified only as “Nick” writes, “I do not believe the word cowardly is correctly used to describe peoples writing. Ignorant would best describe the flaws that you refer to.”
Nick: Yes, many people make mistakes out of ignorance, which is a commentary on our near-illiteracy. But we also call out people who could write better with a little effort, but are lazy or afraid. Those are our cowardly writers. Remember: Our goal is not to humiliate you. That’s why we don’t identify offenders. Our goal is to make you a better writer.
Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we properly can credit you. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com
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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!