Didn’t you get the memo?
We covered this in our August 2021 segment on the maligned comma. Correct: “Do not use if you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant or while you are breastfeeding.”
We covered this in our February 2022 segment on bad ads. In this paragraph, two people are talking. The one in the first sentence is you. The one in the second sentence is the drug store. How does no one notice this? Correct: “Do you want to pick these up at XXX? We’ll call or text you…”"
We covered this in a March 2021 segment. “Beleaguered” means beset. “Embattled” does not. It means to be prepared for battle.
We’ve covered this before. The magic word is not “senators.” It’s “group.” “Group of senators reaches deal on…”
We’ve explained that tight writing sometimes is too tight, and morphs into lazy writing. We know where the massacre occurred. But where have these people gathered? In a church? An arena? And what if they were in San Antonio? (Bonus nit: “Community members” is news-speak and a cliché. It’s the same as “litter box filler.” Say “Uvalde residents” or just “people.” )
A February 2021 segment talked about writing as if you were paying by the word. And our April 2022 segment on “Elements of Style” quoted William Strunk’s gospel: “Avoid unnecessary words.” We cut this announcement in half. You don’t have to write for a living to be a good writer.
We will visit a similar goof in next week’s segment! This line is saying the player’s setback was Monday. It was weeks ago. Monday was the day he rejoined the team. Correct: “Point rejoined practice with the full team on Monday. He had skated on his own or with the Lightning’s extra players in the weeks since his setback.”
And we go to the video archives for Segment 20: Its not that hard. https://youtu.be/Pih1IvLnQJA
Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we properly can credit you. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com
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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!