Readers: In a 2020 segment, we showed instances of writers failing to make the distinction between lightning and lightning bugs. They used words that weren’t quite right. Which means, of course, that they were wrong. Here are more examples:

1. Past and present military veterans receive free coffee all month.

What would constitute a past veteran?

2. On Saturday, alleged gunman Robert Powers stormed into the Tree of Life synagogue…

So he definitely stormed into the synagogue but he’s only an alleged gunman? How about: “Police say Robert Powers, armed with —-, stormed into the Tree of Life Synagogue on Saturday.”

3. Most everyone loved Elvis.

Almost everyone loved Elvis.

4. I was nauseous from the nauseating fumes.

While usage has rendered “nauseous” acceptable for someone who feels sick, the "Horribly Wrong" team doesn't like it. Remember: Sometimes it's a question not of the wrong or right word, but the better word. "Nauseous" and "nauseating" really refer to something that makes you sick. If you are sick, say you are nauseated.

5. TV commercial: "Science projects for kids 0-16."
Church notice: "During services, we provide child care for children from birth to 8."

What exactly would be age 0? And is the church expecting babies to come to their care straight from the birth canal? Say "Science projects for kids up to 16." And, "child care for children up to 8."

6. Our train was late thanks to an obstacle on the track.

Say “thanks to” when you mean it. “Thanks to you, great voters, I’m now the mayor.” But ”Our train was late because of an obstacle on the track.”

7. The professor’s opinions do not represent the views of the university.

While we always are preaching “the fewer words, the better,” in this case, you need to add a word before “represent.” It’s “necessarily.” Otherwise you’re saying the university definitely disagrees with every single piece of opinion the professor ever has uttered. That’s extremely unlikely, and even if it’s the case, you don’t know that, do you?

8. An Army spokeswoman said the officer would be “assigned to duties commiserate to his rank and experience.”

It might be that the spokeswoman commiserated with the officer, but the word she wanted was “commensurate.”

9. “Jethro done gone swimming in the cement pond.”

The Beverly Hillbillies’ pool was made of concrete, not cement. Cement is the powder that, when mixed, becomes concrete.

10. The Dolphins agreed to trade Parker to the New England Patriots on Saturday.

This literally means the team decided at some previous date to trade the player, effective Saturday. But that’s not what happened. Move one word and the meaning becomes clear: “The Dolphins agreed Saturday to trade Parker to the New England Patriots.”

Watch this on video! https://youtu.be/8vgBB189QNY

Next time: More clichés hitting you like a ton of bricks.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong," features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police:” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we properly can credit you. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!