Don’t need it? Omit it!
We’ve said many times that, next to fact and grammar errors, the greatest sin in writing is failing to write tight. Every unneeded word slows down your reader until she just gives up. Don’t take our word for it. The great William Strunk said it back in 1918: “Avoid unnecessary words!”
What else would a pedestrian be doing?
By the time you read this long and messy sentence, your food’s cold! Let’s fix it: “A 20 percent gratuity is added for parties of five or more.”
Again: This says six dollars dollars. Doesn’t it? Even these guys did not go on to say 44 dollars dollars.
(PS: While the dictionary accepts “cash” as “money or its equivalent,” we’re in the business of clarity, and we would use “cash” for physical currency, not a digital transfer. Readers?)
We covered this in January 2021 as well. If you’ve been convicted, unless it’s vacated at some point, you’re a con your whole life. Not an ex-con. Same rule goes for felon. Usually the writer means “ex-inmate” or “former prisoner.”
There ‘could be’ hostage deal.” (PS: They later removed “potential.”) Same mistake in the next one. It is a fact that he could be headed to LIV. There’s a rumor that he will be headed to LIV. Some of our top offenders fail to write tight by using too many qualifiers. Which makes them cowardly writers.
We dealt with this in our very first segment! All the way back in January 2021. Rules and regulations are different in only the most technical ways. For your purposes, they’re the same thing.
And we go to the video archives for Segment 63: Are you gruntled? https://youtu.be/m2-ld_hp3QI?si=Nkwu5C2uiUXFg1q5
Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com
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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!