We’ve seen flagrant insults, but something stinks here!

We first discussed this sudden shift of identities back in November 2021. How does this happen? The restaurant will put a hold on your tab. Then the restaurant will agree to settle its tab. Before it leaves the restaurant. That’s what it says. But that’s not what the operators mean. How about, “You agree to settle your tab.” (And we know you’re trying be artsy, but use capitalizations.)

Shoring up banks is a shore way to make sure.

We’ve talked about how you can have news that’s big news but not breaking news. Well, sometimes, it’s not even big news.

The Grammar Police in no way endorse grammar vigilantism.

Embattled means girded for battle. The word you want here is beleaguered.

“Always baked without artificial colors, flavors or preservatives.”

That pesky comma! The one that changes “Let’s eat, Grandma,” to “Let’s eat Grandma.” In this case, it sounds as if this documentary explores Reggie’s life, his baseball, and his racism.

This isn’t wrong. Just wordy. Let’s tighten it. How about: “Donation center behind building.” Trust people to figure out the rest. Oh. Like these guys:

Readers: People have suggested at times that the “Horribly Wrong” team is just a bit too snarky, and a bit too nit-picky. In the interest of fair play, we invite you to submit examples from previous columns. Submit to eliot@eliotkleinberg.com! In the meantime, we’ll keep at it.

And we go to the video archives for Segment 51: Maybe, Maybe, maybe. https://youtu.be/_NNs3q8kwX4]

Items before the Assizes:
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez! On the docket:
Longtime reader and sometime contributor Dr. Baruch Kahana asked about a line we’ve used at the bottom of every segment since we started in January 2021: “Include your name and home town so we properly can credit you.” The good doctor submits the following:
“Shouldn’t that be, ‘so we can credit you properly’? ‘Properly’ is an adverb -- I think -- and adverbs usually follow the associated verb. No? (I guess you’re not the only nitpicker around these here parts!).”
Lou Ann, our Rules Committee, says, “He’s got us. Not technically an infinitive phrase, but it still should end with the adverb.”
We therefore CONCUR and enjoin ourselves to correct the error, starting right now. See below.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong," features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police:” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!