Double trouble!

Chronics:

In the third story, we counted — not including the headline — 16 paragraphs that used variations of “attack” 24 times. We’ve said scientists discourage news outlets from using “attack,” since most encounters are accidents. You are 75 times more likely to be killed by lightning than a shark, and no one says “lightning attack.” Scientists say the term is inflammatory and causes unnecessary panic (making this headline ironic).
Scientists also warn this attitude has caused a mentality that all sharks are monsters and should be killed on sight; in reality, they are crucial to the ocean food chain. Even Peter Benchley spent the last part of his life undoing “what” Jaws helped create.
Also — and we remind ourselves this is a grammar blog — shark infested is inflammatory. It just means sharks are in the water. Which, in places such as Australia and Florida, is just about all the time. See the first paragraph.

Note to satirists: They would lie in bed. You knew that.

We covered this back in July 2022. Under what circumstances would a child be zero years old? (PS: We salute Dolly. So far she’s given away, globally, some 200 million books!)

We covered this before. This is a Pinocchio. The only time a politician, or a salesman, or anyone, is personally asking is when he or she is doing it in person. Right?

We covered this in November 2021. Out of ten Americans, how many consume adequate fruits? One. One in ten consumes adequate fruits.

We talked about this back in November 2021 in our segment on geography disqualifiers. This is apples and oranges. Canada is a country. New York is a state. Use “Ontario” and New York.” Americans know where the province of Ontario is. Or should know. Also, if you’re using “NY” for New York, then “CA” would be…California. Right? Except California’s a long way from here.

“Horribly Wrong” rails against misleading ads. The bag at left claims to be "fun size."

This is fun size.

And we go to the video archives for Segment 66: Euphemisms. https://youtu.be/XYT4rbYLgrQ?si=vYkWB5s9lNoo3WVK

Items before the Assizes:
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez! On the docket:
Our June 9, 2024, segment used the line, “hurricane season is upon us.” Loyal reader and self-described "Grammar Nazi" Suzanne D'Spain submits:
"Your posts are eye-catching. However, there is one statement you made that drives me nuts....summer is "upon us." This is pretty hackneyed, and catches my attention and not in a good way. Why is everything now "upon us." Could it just be the summer season or whatever event it is?”
The Rules Committee (Lou Ann) opines: “It’s probably hackneyed, buy it’s also a perfectly good English idiom.“ However, as someone who regularly disses others for their grammar, Eliot believes it is incumbent on him to keep his cliché basket empty. He therefore pleades NOLO CONTENDERE and will retire the phrase.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!