Heat-related brain freezes?

We all would support safety standards against hate. All three items in this graphic were about heat.

We checked other stories about this. It definitely referred to drones. Not drowning.

We love the Coast Guard and thank its members for their service. Its motto is “always prepared.” But whoever wrote this didn’t do a lot of preparation. First, not everyone knows “Spirit of Norfolk” is the name of a ship. So we’re envisioning the town of Norfolk, Va., having a fire that had a spirit that was extinguished. Huh? Then the writer reached for a misplaced modifier which suggested an extinguished fire was towed to a shipyard. Here’s an easy fix: “Update: Fire out; Spirit of Norfolk towed to shipyard.”

Would that be the left side of Gilligan’s aisle?

We’ve been looking at this phrase for years, and suddenly it hit us: In retail, everything is sold, “first come, first served.” Discuss?

And we go to the video archives for Segment 21: Prepositions. https://youtu.be/vkgrc3zTO7U

Items before the Assizes:
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez! On the docket:
Longtime friend and loyal reader Art Fyvolent asked the Rules Committee to revisit this item in our July 3, 2022, segment: “The professor’s opinions do not represent the views of the university.”
We posited that the university surely agrees with the professor on some things, so it must say the professor’s opinions “do not necessarily represent…” But, Art said, what if a professor wrote one particular essay in which the university does, indeed, disagree with every word? Art suggested such a statement would read, “The professor’s opinions on this issue do not represent the views of the university.” We concur.
Another reader pointed out that the original statement could mean the university as an institution has a particular set of positions and the professor’s writings clash. So say that.
And yet another said it could mean the professor wasn’t authorized to speak on behalf of the school. OK. The school should say that.
We again cite William Strunk’s byword: Clarity, clarity, clarity!

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we properly can credit you. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!