We’ve touched on this in the past. Things that just look right. But, dang it, they’re not. When in doubt, look it up!

1. “Our vibrant blend of people, cultures and coastal towns welcome everyone.”
In this radio spot by a tourist board, there’s just one blend. So, as awkward as it sounds, “Our vibrant blend of people, cultures and coastal towns welcomes everyone.”

2. “Our network of attorneys are ready to fight for you.”
Once again: Many attorneys, but just one network. “Our network of attorneys is ready to fight for you.” Or, “Our attorneys are ready to fight for you.”

3. “There are no shortage of multimillionaires.”
“There is no shortage.”

3. “Data also shows that readers can’t tell the difference between news reporting and opinion.”
Data is plural. It is. It’s the plural of datum. So this should say: “Data also show that readers often can’t tell…”

4. “Fewer fruits and vegetables from local agriculture mean fewer donations to local food banks."
“Fewer fruits” is a thing. It’s not plural. Change to “the problem of fewer fruits” and you see what we mean. So it should be, “Fewer fruits…means fewer donations…”

5. “A number of politicians support the bill.”
You probably said to yourself, “Oh, no. The Rules Committee wants me to say, ‘…supports…’” Nope. You’re good. In this case, “a number of” substitutes for “many.” So you can say, “…support…”

6. “Sometimes I feel very badly about not saving the planet.”
“Feeling badly” means you’ve lost sensation in your fingertips. You want to say you were ‘feeling bad.”

7. “He was third runner-up in the spelling bee. Just two persons ahead of him. So close!”
“Third runner-up” means you came in not third but fourth. Winner, first runner-up, second runner-up, third runner-up.

8. “Our memorial gardens is in the heart of the city.”
In our Nov. 21, 2021, segment on geographical disqualifiers, we talked about places claiming to be in well-known cities when they’re not. Sure, they’re being euphemistic. But they also are being misleading. These memorial gardens are, not is. And they’re not in the heart of the city the ad mentions. They aren’t even in the city. The cemetery is way out west. In fact, as the crow flies, a crow would have to fly a solid 6½ miles to cross into the city limits, and then fly two more miles to arrive at the “heart.” Boy, his wings would be tired.

9. “The sale ends Sunday, or until supplies last.”
This national hardware chain should have checked the grammar aisle. Should be, “while supplies last.”

10. “He has apologized for embellishing his resume, but that hasn’t stopped him from becoming a pariah.”
We’ve dealt with this before. He didn’t become a pariah. He didn’t do it. Correct: “That didn’t stop his peers from making him a pariah.”

11. “Earthlings travel to another planet, where they must fight aliens.”
The “Horribly Wrong” team remembers reading this description in a TV listing several years ago. It looks right, except for one thing: On this other planet, the earthlings would be the aliens. Right?

Watch this on video: https://youtu.be/Vgt5xY_Y4Jg

Next time: Homophones. Again.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we properly can credit you. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!