We’re number one!

Readers: Eliot recently vacationed in the Pacific Northwest and found, along with the staggering natural beauty, a lot of grammar goofs. Good thing we don’t see that back east! Oh. Wait.

In past segments, we've talked about the importance of writing tight. Here’s an example that isn't necessarily ungrammatical, but is woefully wordy. Often a writer is afraid the reader won't get it, and forces the reader to sift through unnecessary words. That's cowardly writing! Granted, this sign is speaking to a captive audience. But we all know what it’s talking about. And how the handle works. And how it's helping save the environment. We cut out nearly all of it. “Best suits your needs?” Egad.

You're a fancy downtown hotel. Spend a few bucks on a copy editor! The "Horribly Wrong" team will do this job for free. (By the way, you've been relaxing too long in that wet bar. Might want to climb out.)

Wake up refreshed in guest rooms featuring soft linens, large closets, plush robes and such eco-friendly touches as water conservation, in-room recycling and energy-efficient lighting. Upgrade to a high-floor room for awe-inspiring city views or to a Luxury King suite for enhanced amenities such as a five-fixture, spalike tub or a wet bar to host a small gathering for you and your friends.

Same hotel! This time, they were so relaxed they forgot about proper grammar. It’s “guests,’” with the apostrophe after the s. Or say, “Please respect each guest’s tranquility…” And there’s a dang comma splice. How stressful!

This hotel hit a trifecta! Now it’s trying to change how time operates.

From the mailbag: “Really love your posts! I would add that there is another error on the whisky package. “Deep-charred” should be hyphenated as it is a compound adjective.” — Jeff Weinstock

Rules Committee: “CONCUR.”

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong," features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police:” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we properly can credit you. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!