Readers: “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. It's the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” — Mark Twain

1. Make sure you lie down newspapers before you let the puppy lay down.

People probably get “lay-lie” wrong more than anything. “Lay” is an active verb. You lay down newspapers. Then the dog can lie down.

2. I could care less.

Does anyone spend even a millisecond thinking about this before it leaves his mouth? You could NOT care less. 

3. I can’t hardly wait.

Teenagers can get away with this. You should know better. Say, “I can hardly wait.”

4. Fifteen troops were killed.

A “troop” is a unit. It’s not a soldier.

5.  Try and get the football tickets. 

If you try and get the tickets, you have succeeded. Correct is “Try to.” (NOTE: The Brits use “try and.” But they also add a “U” to honor and color. That’s the real reason we fought the Revolution.)

6. The person was so anti-Christ, you’d think he was the Antichrist.

The first one just means the person doesn’t like Christianity. The second one means he’s the bad guy whose arrival Christians have been fearing.

7.  The federal government includes three branches: legislative, judicial and executive. 

“Includes” suggests parts of a larger group. The NFL includes the Kansas City Chiefs. Your marriage doesn’t include two people; that would suggest a third person, or more. If the federal government had five branches, “includes” would be OK. It has just the three. Say, the government “comprises three branches” or “consists of three branches.” (And you’ll also be using “comprise” correctly.)

8. I pulled my mobile home into a trailer park.

A mobile home is a house that can be moved from one permanent place to another. A trailer is on wheels and attaches to the back of a vehicle and heads down the highway. Trailer parks often are for overnight stays.

9.  The prisoner got both parole and probation.

Parole is getting out early, with no follow-up. Probation is an early release or in lieu of prison time, but it’s supervised.

10. You can persuade me that John’s a great guy, but you’ll never convince me to vote for him

Wrong. “Convince” means to get someone to make up her mind about a subject. “Persuade” means to convince her to do something about it

Watch this on video! https://youtu.be/JGjKpRcB6aU

Next time: More lightning bugs

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong," features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police:” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we properly can credit you. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com