Readers: Here are some more actual dumb things said on TV newscasts. TV friends can take comfort in the fact that we newspaper folks will not spare ourselves.

1. It was like something from a horror movie.

The horror of what really happened is profound in its own right. You don’t need to embellish it.

2. Their dream vacation turned into a nightmare. 

This cliché is in on our all-star list, right up there with “Something went horribly wrong.” 

3. The earthquake sent shock waves through the community.

Someone really said this.

4.  People who saw the plane land on the highway said they couldn't believe it.

The thing is, as bizarre as the incident was, people could believe it. They didn’t fear they were hallucinating.

5. Police say the man was enraged when the puppy used the restroom in the corner. 

This reporter was so desperate not to say “urinated,” or “relieved itself,” or whatever, that he actually said the dog “used the restroom in the corner.” Really.

6.  People were shocked! People were in shock!

An all-star goof. First of all, “shocked” is a brutal cliché. More than that, if you go one step further and say people were in shock, you’d better be reporting from the hospital. That’s a specific medical condition, isn’t it?

7.  A killing spree.

Brutal cliché. Plus, it sounds light and airy, like “shopping spree.” Except, of course, it isn’t.

8.  Behind bars.

This one offers a window into the “sausage making” of TV news. TV must put everything in present tense. Listen the next time you watch a newscast. “One day after he was declared president, Joe Biden is calling senators…” Or, “A community is reeling one day after a murder.” So a person was arrested yesterday, but that won’t do. Today he’s still in jail. But that doesn’t work. Thus, the brutal cliché, “Behind bars.” Ugh.

9. There were some tense moments.

This is another “making sausage” thing. A crew gets a call about something horrific happening. When they get out there, it turns out to be no big deal. But it tied up a crew for a while so, doggone it, they’re going to put something on the air. Thus, “tense moments.”

10.  Experts say. Some say. They say.

10. This is more a case of lazy reporting than bad grammar. Who are these experts? Who is “some?” And who the heck are “they?” Often it’s one person who called the newsroom with some beef. Or it’s just the reporter.

Watch this on video! https://youtu.be/7o02NVQiz20

Next time: Did you think we were done with TV? Nope.

MEA CULPA!

From Eliot:

Readers: We all have feet of clay. But those who would give advice fall under not one, but two maxims: glass houses and "physician, heal thyself."

In last week's Grammar Police, I wrote, "Here's the answers to…" Of course, it should have been, "Here are the answers to..."

The mistake was mine. It was one not of ignorance but of haste. Or, as young people would say, I had a "brain freeze.”

I compounded the mistake by not, before posting, conducting the task, required by the charter of the "Horribly Wrong" team, of running the entire column past the rules committee, Lou Ann Frala. As copy editor, she caught many similar mistakes of mine during our time at the Palm Beach Post. And she was one of two people who spotted the goof as soon as our newsletter went out. The other was my oldest son (www.theastrolab.com), who produced our blog but who does not write for a living!

My groveling is sincere. But this also is a valuable learning experience. Readers: First, check and double check. Second, make sure someone else puts eyeballs on it. Third, when you goof, own up.

As the Spanish explorers said, "Adelante!" Onward!

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong," features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police:” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we properly can credit you. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com